When God Speaks

Six years ago, Jan. 9th, 2002, God directed me down a path that has changed me in so many ways. That night my man and I casually discussed an advertisement about adoption and I remember saying how sad it was to think of so many children who have no one to kiss them and tuck them in at night. Off in the next room we had two babies under age 2, sleeping peacefully and safely in their cribs. We moved on and enjoyed our evening but God would not let me go so easily. The memory is still vivid and emotional as I recall laying in bed that night having my heart broken and crying my eyes out in prayer. This went on for 4 hours before God released me and let me sleep. I like to say Boo was "conceived in my heart" that night and we began her adoption process not that much later. Of course, looking back with open eyes I find it ironic that I was so convinced she was already born and that we would be adopting a toddler. She was not BUT now I know that Spiderman was, he just didn't need us yet. Boo came home over 2 years later at only 4 months old. This photo is the day we got her for keeps at Hannah's Hope in Guatemala.


I shudder to think of what might not have been. What if I said "No" to God's leading? What if my man said "No"? What if I said, "It's impossible, it's too much money, too difficult a process, too much risk"? Praise God He did not let me. He gave me faith when I had none. He gave me strength when I felt so very weak. He gave me confirmation that this was his plan. He gave me many family and friends to lift us up in prayer. He gave me a deeper vision of my own adoption into His heavenly family. He gave me a love and compassion for a woman thousands of miles away who made a heart wrenching decision to give her child a future with hope. He gave me a glimpse into a world of lonely, hurting children who He loves passionately. (It's like I was the Grinch whose heart was "3 sizes too small" - He broke it in pieces so He could replace it with a newer version, more like his.) He gave me my sweet, stubborn and silly little Boo, who I can't imagine not being my daughter. Praise God He did not let us say "No"!

This is Boo's version of fancy make-up. The crossed eyes are when she's being silly. :)

For those who wonder, it is definitely different adopting an infant versus an older child. Not better or worse, just different. Much to the surprise of some, she grieved as an infant those first few months. She has learned about Guatemala and is proud to know where she comes from. When she says "Hola papa" she melts her Daddy's heart. Despite what she knows, she does have fantasy "memories" of Guatemala and has said she misses her Guatemala Mommy and wants to go visit her house. She is thrilled that God gave her curly hair and "made me so cute". :) With almost 4 years under our belts, we are doing our best to lay a good foundation for her but we know that some of the hard questions and emotions are still to come. While she knows she is loved, she will rely on us to help her fill in the missing gaps. Unlike Spiderman, she has no memories of her own and the unknown is often much more confusing. I'm so thankful that God knows where she will struggle and we trust Him to guide us in helping her along. He has shown us firsthand (four times now) that children truly are a blessing from the Lord!

** OK I'm just adding a link for you. Last night (Jan 10th) I heard a program on Focus on the Family about stepping out in faith to adopt. http://listen.family.org/daily/A000000859.cfm?eafref=1 It ties in perfectly with what I've shared and I want to let you know in case you feel God may be challenging you to consider adoption for your own family. If He is, trust Him! It is so worth it.